The field is stuck at the airport waiting for a flight. The field is bored because his flight is late. The field doesn't want to stuff his face with airport junk food , so he loads up on some ice cold mineral water. Not surprisingly, the field has to go and take a quick twinkle.


The field is in the men's bathroom, freeing his willy wonka, and spilling his yellow lemon aide in its appropriate place. So while he is, ahem ahem, flowing; an older white haired gentleman slides up to the urinal next to the field. Mmmm, the field is a little curios, there are plenty of empty stalls in the bathroom, and this older white gentleman comes right next to the field.


He is glancing around, he looks nervous, every now and then he glances down at the field, and now the field is getting a little pissed. The field starts to shake his willy wonka (This of course takes awhile :)) and the man is staring intently at the field's, ahem ahem tool. "Motherfucker are you looking at my dick? "The field is furious. "Oh, no, I was just admiring it," says the old white haired white gentleman. "Admiring it?""Yes, I am sorry.... may I touch it?"" Ahhh hell no! What kind of man do you think I am. First, I am not gay, so I don't think I would particularly enjoy you touching my Johnson. And second, if I was gay, you sure as fuck wouldn't be my type."" Well, I am a U.S. Senator, I could make it worth your time."" Ahhh no, I don't think so."" Please, I just got off of very a long flight, and I am feeling particularly horny right about now. I have always had jungle fever, we don't see too many of you people where I am from in Idaho. I see lots of you in D.C., but I am a well respected Republican, and I can't afford to mess up, I have to be careful."" Well you ain't being so fucking careful now. I mean we are in a public rest room, and I am a total stranger. Forget the fact that I could commence to whopping your ass, but if I were a cop, I could arrest you for lewd behaviour(British spelling woozie) in a public restroom . Did you say you were a Republican?" "Yes I am."" Well what is it with you freaky mother fuckers? Look man, if I were you, I would zip up my pants, and walk away. I am going to do you a favour(British spelling woozie) and pretend this didn't happen. You are lucky I am not a reporter or a blogger or some shit. Now go on man, before I call the cops on your ass. " :)


OK, so the above story was fictional. But I did get my inspiration from this report.


Hey, at least he didn't blame his behavior on being nervous because too many blacks were around.


Gotta love those conservative republicans. Here is a guy who endorsed his state's(Idaho) anti gay amendment, HJR2, which essentially banned gay marriages,civil unions, and domestic partnerships. Yet, the motherfucker is in a public bathroom trying to play footsie with an undercover cop from a bathroom stall.


Folks, that's called balls. Whoops, maybe I should have used another word.