James Joseph Cialella, Jr. is a hero to every white person in A-merry-ca. Why? Because he did what everyone of you have wanted to do at some point or another in your life, that's why.
I first heard about this story while I was out of town. So when I came home, after doing some investigating, I confirmed that the victim was one of my cousins. Of course I am not surprised. My cousins tend to.....how do I say this? Well, they tend to be very animated and prone to loud talking while there is a movie going on. Most of us have grown so accustomed to it by now that we just consider it a part of living with my cousins here in A-merry-ca. Some of us, who can't stand people giving them a verbal blow by blow of the movie they are watching, tend to live by the 12% rule like moi, and go to movies in places where my cousins don't tend to frequent.
Some of you, in spite of being aware of this little phenomenon, still take your asses to movie theaters where my cousins tend to congregate. The moment I heard about this story and that it was in Philly, I could have told you, without hearing anything more, exactly where it was and that the victim was one of my cousins. Back in the day, looooong before Mrs. Field (as Bernie Mack used to say: "a long long time ago") and when the field was still single, I went to that very same venue with a date or two, and I vowed that I would never go back. In fact, going to the movies have pretty much become a suburban thing with me.
So old James was angry, and he let that 380 do the talking for him. I guess my cousin forgot that he was in Philly. Here is the thing; white boyz in Philly ain't like white boyz in other cities, some of them are actually just as ignorant as some of my cousins, and they really do believe that they are living in Dodge City.
What's disappointing is that James was actually watching "The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button". Not exactly a man flick if you know what I mean. How does he explain that he was watching a chick flick by himself to his boyz? Yo James, I heard you popped that "mooli" for talking shit. Way to go bro. Hey but they got that movie wrong right? Like yo, you weren't watching that Brad Pitt flick were ya dude? I mean, come on now, which man gets so mad at someone for talking through a flick like that?
Still, the wildest part of the story is that after shooting cus, James sat back down to watch the movie in peace. Boy he must have a serious thing for Brad Pitt.
Oh well, all is well that ends well. James could be looking at some jail time, and the victim, my cousin, might just have learned a valuable lesson in life: Never talk during a chick flick if you see a man watching it by himself.
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